Free Write - Sidewalk Books

Welcome to Free Write Friday!

I will be adding an image every Friday to free write with.

It is a practice to allow your mind to wonder creatively into new stories.

Have Fun!

Do You Call Yourself a Writer?

Have you ever given much thought to your name? I hadn't until I was older except that my name was hard to pronounce, and I ended up spelling it to everyone I came in contact with. There would be times I was asked what country I was from because outside of my small community, it is not a common name, and on rare occasions, I was asked what it meant. It never offended me that people thought I might be from another country or that they couldn't spell my name I just thought of it as the facts of my life. 

When I was in college, I was asked and told what my name meant over and over again. I finally looked up my name meaning so I could recite to anyone else who asked because I did start to get a little annoyed. I had never gone by any nicknames or some altered version of my name. It was always lovely to hear my name properly pronounced without having to correct someone, but it was rare. 

There have been other names I have been called like fat when I was a child because I wasn't as slender as the other kids in my class. I don't ever remember being called smart in school though I was called a good many times, I never could understand what good really meant. I was called quite a lot more than I have ever been called anything else in my life. But then I was called weird, crazy, or strange when I started to open up to others and stopped being quiet. 

Life changing events call for name calling too. It was fun to be called the girlfriend at times, and it was better to be called the ex. I love being called a mother and a parent. I hoped to be an aunt one day, but sister had a beautiful ring to it too. An employee was also a beautiful name when the paycheck came from it as well. 

My favorite name didn't show up until the last year, and it was one I didn't think I would like as much as I did. It was important to me and was solidifying the previous three work and devotion. It was a writer. I can remember the first time I was referred to as a writer friend in a blog, and it was absolutely fantastic. My heart leaped out of my body into the upper atmosphere and back again in a second. 

I had been hesitant to refer to myself as a writer, and it sounds like I was an impostor because I couldn't answer the questions of where I had been published at or when my book would be out. When I found other writers, there hasn't been a question about validation with writers in my community. You write; therefore, you are a writer; it does matter the frequency or how long or what you are writing, you just write. 

Monday's Mug 005

It is time for some late night coffee again. Would you like decaf tonight or maybe a lovely herbal tea? The night is cool tonight let’s grab some blankets and sit on the porch swing. If we were having a mug, I would tell you this last week had a lot more ups than downs. 

I was excited to be on a call for Super Stars group within Story A Day. It was great to hear about how other writers were submitting and how they have dealt with rejection. They were talking about different places to submit as well. I have not submitted to be published in years now; however, the conversion was spurring me on to start submitting again. I keep saying I am not ready, and I just need more time. The truth is I’m making excuses. 

If we were having a mug of joe. I’d tell you I started a new book this week Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. IT IS AMAZING! Yes, I am yelling this at the top of my lungs. I sometimes feel like I have been locked in a cave without a key away from one of the best books about writing I have come across. As I was reading it in so many moments, I was thinking this is me, and that is me. I guess I should just highlight the whole book. I am glad my writing friends turn me toward this book. 

Would you like some more tea or coffee? I’m getting some tea; it always makes me sleepy at night. 

Another great event this week was getting to talk one on one with a writing friend. We were discussing the book and various things in our lives. I appreciated the time we spent getting to know each other better. I love one on one talks more so than groups; it makes me feel more relaxed to speak about my life. 

I am going to try writing in a notebook again and see how it goes. I like to doodle sometimes when I write, and when I write poetry, I want to see the various versions it goes through. My story sparks are overflowing, and I need to devote more time daily to writing. I can’t decide what technique of writing I would like to work on, but I think I am going just to let it flow for a while.  I hope you have a great week and I will see you next Monday. 

Free Write - Paris

Welcome to Free Write Friday!

I will be adding an image every Friday to free write with.

It is a practice to allow your mind to wonder creatively into new stories.

Have Fun!

Poetry - After the Funeral

There are things in my pocket; I cannot forget.

       Golden rings are clamoring over the beats of my heart.

A broken memory no one knows but me,

       Can I even remember us as three?

Do I envision a happy family I never had

        Or will the fabrication kill me as I lie in bed?

The walls are crashing in on me

        Yet there is no love glue left wearisome I will be.

I fall on pictures as though the dead will catch me.

         Somehow bringing me back to life breathing.  

The blood advances over the shards of glass and memory

           It takes the life out of me.

Today I decided to share a piece I have been working on.  

Monday's Mug 004

Hello again. Thanks for joining me for another Monday’s Mug. I have one of my favorite mugs I got from a local craft fair full of water. Today has been busy and this week will be as well. I am sitting outside again because I love being out here the summer. 

I would like to tell you about my week last week. I had struggled with a blog for a couple of weeks, and I had it written. I had even edited it already once, but for some reason, I didn’t like it. There are times when I feel like it just isn’t the right time to publish a blog. Like there is something inside of me that says not yet. Then a week or two later I get the post it now buttons pushed inside me. I don’t know where this comes from or why. I wonder if you ever get the same feeling about writing or something in your life?

I will continue with my mug of water tonight and tell you last week had its ups and downs for sure. I have been working on taking my reading up a notch and also my productivity in general. I have become a little planner crazy right now I am working out of two. I have a Happy Planner everything is in, and then I carry a bullet journal that has my daily two do lists. Now that I am managing three sites, it has been more intense. 

I did Story A Day again this year. I did write a lot more than I ever thought I would get done because May is a full month for me. It is a month full of social events, deadlines, and most of all, my joy for writing. I allowed myself to miss days this year. I have gotten much better about not beating myself up about not finishing a story every day and just moving forward. It helps to have Julie Duffy’s voice in my head. If you have not checked out her podcasts, they are, and her voice is so soothing to me. She does not know I am talking about her. Julie’s podcasts can be found at Itunes and also directly on the StoryADay website. 

I got to have a meeting with my online writing group tonight. It was great to talk to them, and even though I am quiet, I like listening to what they have to say about what they are reading, writing, and submitting. I have not reached the submission process yet because I am a little afraid, but I also know I need to revise a bunch of stories. Revision is probably my least favorite part of the processes. I am still looking for ways to make it more fun if you have suggestions leave them in the comments. I think it is just like doing laundry though because I enjoy wearing the clothes I just don’t want to have to wash them and put them up.

I have been embracing working on my short story pieces more these days. Short stories were my emphasis in college because it was fun to me. I wish I could find the stories I wrote in college. I am sure that would give me a good laugh and maybe inspire something else. There are times I am hard on myself for taking so many years off from writing, but I am also happy to be where I am now meeting the friends I have through this process. 

I hope you have a good evening and the rest of your week is full of little stories. 

Free Write - The Fight

Welcome to Free Write Friday!

I will be adding an image every Friday to free write with.

It is a practice to allow your mind to wonder creatively into new stories.

Have Fun!

When Writing Helps

I grew up in a place where my closest friends were imaginary because there were no kids around in the country that were my age. My home life had its ups and downs, just like everyone else. In my darkest times, I started to write. When I was young, I remember how cool it was that I could have a diary, but I never really wrote in. I didn’t have siblings trying to get it, but every time I started to write, I kept thinking how dumb it was to write all these things in here. 

I played imaginary games with made up people a lot. I played Thunder Cats a lot and X-men when my little brother wanted to play with me. When we played X-men, he was always Wolverine, and I was Storm. On my way out of town, there would be little creatures I made up that would run alongside the car. No, I wasn’t really seeing these things it was all in my mind, and they never became more to me than my present reality. They were a way for me to process being lonely and the case of isolation. 

As I grew the stories about these places poured out of me, and the life I was living was hard. Many times, while I was taking care of cattle stories, would just come into my mind. There were no notepads in the slop with the cattle, so I would use word association to remember until I could write them down, which was always before I went to bed. 

I wrote on a lot of school bus rides to and from school. Which I hear now you can’t even do. I scribbled in my notebook about my crushes and how they never knew me. I wrote about being hurt by friends. I wrote poems about things in my life that I couldn’t understand. I cried a lot when I wrote, but I didn’t have people to talk to so I turned to the page. I spoke to the pages when no one was there I wrote to get through things. 

In college, I wrote to process the death of family members. I wrote to be creative too. I opened the doors of my mind to things in the world I had never been exposed to and ideas on the darker side of life that I never explored in stories because I was living it. I thought the writing might too closely intwine, but I found it helpful in moving forward in my life. 

I started to do morning pages later in life as a way to empty out my emotions on the page after beginning to read the Artist Way. It was a great way to mind dump my feelings that had been building up again. This was caused by living a life much I did as a child in isolation. It is not my purpose to live this way, but it just seems to be the season I am in.  I have used this journaling for positive self talk though it looks like a lie at first there is something to be said about writing in that way. It has changed me and moved me to a more positive place again.

I have also felt a sense of peace after having sat down for a session of writing. It is almost as though it a religion, but it is not for me. The type of paper doesn’t matter if it is just a journal entry, free writing for 5-10 minutes, or maybe I work on my book. Another significant benefit for me it that it is moving toward the things I really want in life. I want a place where writing is part of my future, and to be a positive person. For me, it is more about allowing myself to finally spending time on myself and allowing me to be who I was always meant to be ultimately.

On the days I don’t write something I feel like I’m off that day. Sometimes I am a little irritable and not easy to get along with. There is something I think to what everyone does in life if they really love what they do. It doesn’t seem like work, and sometimes it becomes the thing that makes life a little easier to deal with. 

Monday's Mug 003

Hello! Thank you for spending some time with me. It is Monday’s Mug time where we talk about what happened over the past week. So grab your mug and settle in with me for a little talk.

This morning I’m having coffee, and after going two weeks without it, I want it again. Would you like some coffee?  I thought so. I’m sitting outside with you and will grab you a blanket too. It is cold this morning when it becomes Spring I love being outside. It makes it a little harder to get my writing done. This last week I was going to plant but out temperatures dropped so low I decided to wait till next week. 

My writing has been slower this last week. I had a couple of pretty lousy day Tuesday and Wednesday when it came to writing. I ended up getting nothing accomplished. So I was behind on my deadlines for last week. I always think I will have time to make them up over the weekend, but I again wasn’t able to carve out much time. 

My favorite time to write on the weekends has been Saturday mornings. I have also been pulling away from the keyboard as well which is very unlike me. There is nothing wrong with my computer, and it is usually my preferred way to write. For some reason, though I am enjoying not having to look at a screen for a while. It makes me miss the days when I was a kid and technology didn’t exist as it does now. 

I did write a little bit, but I am having to forgive myself for not being as productive as I usually am. I think May is just a hard month for me to write.  I supposed it is because it is that transition month when school is getting out soon, and summer is coming so quickly. 

 I have continued to do Story A Day and enjoyed the encouragement on that site. I have also made some real friends over there, and there is nothing more satisfying as of late than to have people in my life I can talk about writing with. 

Well, it is too cold to stay out here, so I am going to cut this short today. I hope you have a productive week. 

Free Write - Burning Pages

Welcome to Free Write Friday!

I will be adding an image every Friday to free write with.

It is a practice to allow your mind to wonder creatively into new stories.

Have Fun!

How to Deal with Writing Fears

I wouldn’t be here talking to you now if I had not overcome some of my biggest writing fears. These top two fears kept me at a standstill in my writing process. I would stare at the page and get so frustrated. I couldn’t even allow myself to begin to write because I thought I had to be perfect when I started. For those friends that stayed with me during the fear stages, I thank you, and for the others well you are missing out on the most exciting years of my life so far.

Not everyone will be able to handle you talking about your fears and insecurities as a writer, I will tell you that up front, but give them a chance to try. I would advise getting involved in a writing community. You can check out why that is important here.

The two biggest fears I had were.

1. I am not good enough to write.

2. No one is going to read my work.

I am not good enough to write stemmed from having a hard time with grammar and teachers putting down my writing. Not all of my teachers were discouraging, but many of those negative voices still linger in my mind.  They would say my ideas were good, but my grammar was terrible. It was hard not to take it to heart because at that time my teachers were the encouragers of my academic life. My family didn’t understand my choices. I was told I have the grammar level of a fifth grader, and I also had a professor refuse to pass me unless I sore I’d never do anything in English. I did not have the polished and refined writing I should have by 20. Now, I will admit some of this was my fault because I didn’t always edit my work well before I turned it in, but it was clear I had some things I needed to work on.

I am not sure where you are at coming into this if you have had people say these things to you maybe people you trusted, loved, or held their opinions in high regard. It is okay to come to writing with fears because it is by writing each day you overcome them. All you have to do is put one word after another. I had to learn to let go of what other’s people’s opinions were of me and my work. I had to replace their words with positive words of my own. I kept searching for what I thought good writing was.

After a few months of getting words on a page or in my case on a screen, I began to wonder if anyone was even reading this. Did it really matter if my blog or my story was only enjoyed by me? This fear is a little different because it is about failure for me. If no one is reading it, then I wonder why I am continuing to write it. I have dealt with this fear often so as a way to battle it I wrote out on index card taped to my desk the reason why I write.

I found out it wasn’t about other people reading my work at all it was about writing for myself and how it made me feel when I gave myself the time and put in the effort to write. I wrote to think clearly again because there were so many things going on in my head. I wrote privately to dump all of these thoughts out of my head. I wrote just because I enjoyed it throughout my life. It was fun to create new worlds and different characters to interact with.

I also realized that if I did want people to read any of my stories I do actually have to put them out there.

My thoughts on overcoming fear are to figure out what your fear statements are and write out the opposite to be true.

I am not good enough to write.

• I am an amazing and successful writer.

No one reads my writing.

• Everyone reads my writing and wants more.

It seems like a lie at first and like you are trying to pull one over on yourself, but the truth is it can change your future by believing in the positive things instead of letting the fears control you. If you don’t think that works for you then I would say write anyway for you and you never have to show it to another soul if you don’t want to, but do it for you and your own joy if for no other reason.

Monday's Mug 002

Hello! Thank you for joining me this Monday Mug. This weekend went by in a flash, and I am a night writer, so here we are. I have some Irish Breakfast tea with honey and sugar in my mug tonight. I still fighting to be able to talk because of allergies. I am not sure why it has been so bad this year. I guess the allergies are trying to take me out. 

Would you like some tea too? I have made fresh pot. Honey? Milk?

So we are outside tonight, but that is because I just cannot resist the Spring weather. You have to bear with me as I sneeze and cough a little today. I am actually much better than last Monday, but I still have a lot to get done tonight. 

I would like to talk about going to a conference this weekend for single moms. It was amazing and so encouraging. It is definitely something I needed. There were two main speakers and three breaks out sessions. While I didn’t really get any ideas about writing while I was there, I did on the ride to and from the conference. 

If you ever end up in a car with me be prepared for the confessions. I tend to talk about everything in the car. I felt terrible for my companion that was driving, but I just could not shut up. We would talk about something, and it would always remind of a story. Then I would tell the story, and we would move on to the next subject. It made me miss the days of actual storytelling instead of stories being written all the time. 

Have you ever listened to a story teller?

There were so many pieces of my past that I do wish I could tell in stories, but I am not ready yet. I need more distance and time from the subject before I will commit it to paper. So many things have happened in my life, I am not sure I will ever really be able to write about. The scars are just too deep, and it still hurts too bad. 

Would you like so more tea? I am getting a second cup. 

I thought I would have so much time to work on writing this weekend, but that isn’t what happened at all, so I was a little upset by that. I am learning to forgive myself though and move on. I still don’t have the habit of writing every day, but yet I do write something every day. So maybe working on things that deal with my writing counts for writing too. 

Tonight I am keeping it short because I have a meeting with the Super Stars writing group and I am excited. I can’t see what writing sparks might come up from things they say.

I love all the little things in life that give us so much to write about. 

Free Write - The Street

Welcome to Free Write Friday!

I will be adding an image every Friday to free write with.

It is a practice to allow your mind to wonder creatively into new stories.

Have Fun!