How Often Should You Write?
Do you need to write every day or not? This is the big question at some point and time a lot of writers out there ask. I think the better question is, really, what does your writing mean to you right now, and what do you want it to be in the future?
Is writing your therapy?
Did you write because someone said you were good and it was nice to be good at something?
Have you decided to be the best-selling author?
Do you want to just be published in a couple of places?
Always wanted to write the book stewing in the back of your mind?
Do you see now how it is hard to answer that question?
I think it is easy to say yes, write every day no matter what is happening. Writing daily is a great way to get practice, play, and your voice to really come there. There are so many benefits. You can also get larger projects done faster.
Something to consider if you feel like writing daily isn’t sustainable all year to pick challenge months for yourself. I do this through writing communities such as Camp NaNoWriMo, StoryADay, and NaNoWriMo in November. During these times, I plug into the community and report daily to push myself. For the rest of the year, I stick to a different schedule.
My other schedule flows better with my daily life and the obstacles I am faced with. When I look at my life and some of my friends’ lives, writing daily maybe just isn’t always in the cards. Our lives might be overwhelming with illness in families or the busy season at our jobs. There might be children or other people that need us just a little bit more right now.
In the end, I think either path can be significant. You shouldn’t beat yourself up for what course you are choosing. We are all different. No one writes the same way at the same time. Experiment to find out what works for you. Just remember to make time for yourself and your dreams. Even if you only get 5 minutes, just write.
Who Has Time to Write
I hear myself saying I don’t have a lot of time to write. Yes, my life is crazy busy like everyone else, but so? I say over and over, “there are not enough hours in the day.” I have an endless to-do list just like anyone else. I can’t seem to possibly focus on writing for any amount of time without being interrupted. There are too many people needing things from me to keep me from doing one thing I want to do.
I’ve been dealing with this problem years before Covid-19 and all the 2020 craziness. I don’t say no often enough because I love helping people and teaching them. A year ago, I started to lose hope. There was one year in there where I struggled to have any hope at all in life. I was frustrated by my lack of motivation and the overwhelming feeling of not getting enough done.
I started watching YouTube videos about self-care and reading blogs about it. One of those books, videos, or blogs had Mel Robbins in. I honestly didn’t even know who she was until a few years ago. Thank god for the YouTube black hole of information. Robbins is a big believer in morning and night routines. I have never been a person who had either, but I know I like a rhythm throughout my day. There are times I like to work on specific projects. I wanted things to change in my life, and I felt the best way to do this was a night routine.
I have a few minutes before bed for myself. During this time, I hadn’t been doing anything consistently. Sometimes I would read, watch TV, or journal. So I decided to think about the thing I wanted to change the most in my life: writing more often. I hadn’t been consistently writing for a while. The story and book ideas have been there, but no stories were getting on paper. So I set a timer for ten minutes to write.
I know for the first few weeks, I couldn’t believe how long ten minutes took! I was continually looking at my watch. Soon I realized just how much I was getting done in the 10 minutes. Stories were finally reaching the page, and I was allowing myself to dream again. Dream again of finishing the novel and of getting stories published.
I was starting to create. I found when I was trying to edit; I did it faster the next day. If I allowed the writing to sit for sleep, then I could see my mistakes easier. If I know I am having a hard day or my night will be longer, I move my 10 minutes up to lunchtime.
Now I find more often than not; I can get a lot more done by writing, even just a few minutes a day than I was before. I now have a morning routine of walking now. It is a beautiful way to start my day. I even wake up early on the weekends so I can enjoy this quiet morning time. There are days when it rains and storms, but I move the time of my walk or mediate day if I can’t get out. When I was walking, I have found a way for me to clear my mind and move. Meditation allows me also to clear my mind even when I am not able to do everyday movements.
Instead, on those days, I have a dance party in the living room, turn on com crazy music, and just dance it out. There is nothing better than movement, meditation, and a timer for my writing routine. If you have days, you get stuck its s okay. Talk to a writing friend that day or a writing community. If you have signed up for NaNoWriMo, you can have groups that can talk all year round. Just remember to give yourself 10 minutes. So much can be done in just a little amount of time.
It is so much better than being overwhelmed by everything.
Just write 10 minutes.
Your Weakness is Your Strength
I remember looking down at my spelling test, not seeing 100% but 80%. The tears began to bubble up inside me and come out in front of my classmates. Eye rolls and cry baby chanting began, and in these moments, I was labeled as too emotional. At first, I saw this as a plague because it was linked to the high exceptions I had for myself. In general, I expected to “be the best” and “change the world.” This was not a simple feat for my 7-year-old self.
As I fast forward my life to my middle school and high school years, I still found my emotions challenging to control. When I had disappointed myself or not been the best in a classroom for my role model teachers, the tears came. If I got low grades, I mean anything less than a B because I had a least lowered my standards to a B, I would cry. There was no one there willing to help me with the amount of anxiety I felt. I was always told I was making something out of nothing and calming the hell down.
Throughout those teenage years was when I really began writing without the influence of anyone else. I wrote little stories and poems to get me through my hard days when I knew no one would understand. I knew that if I told anyone what I felt, I would cry and be embarrassed. Friends would tell again to calm down and chill out and still offered no help or solutions. I poured myself on the page because the page didn’t tell me I was too emotional or too sensitive.
During this time was when I trained myself to be the sounding board for others. I would ask people all kinds of questions until I knew them better than anyone else with offering up any of myself. These talks kept me focused on others instead of my terrible days. I never vented or spoke of my terrors. The focus on others buried these events deep. They no longer existed when my energy was going to help someone else.
It wasn’t until after I was out of college that I had seen the benefits of being too sensitive, even just a few years ago. Granted, most of my relationships start with I’m a crier. I cry when I’m happy, sad, tired, and angry mostly. If you can’t handle crying, please move on because it will happen, and you cannot fix me. This is who I really am. Hence, I am still single, but I understand using this gift of emotion to help me as a writer.
When I have gotten critics back about my work, perhaps they ask for more details in my setting. There might be a little something about brushing up my dialogue. However, readers always have felt whatever emotions I invoked in them. Emotions make readers care about the characters and draw them in on their journey throughout the story.
There are so many things that people will call out a weakness in you. There is so much within you that you can use for good and your benefit in life, and stop letting others stop you in your path. Today I may have cried with every show I watched, but it was because I felt connected with these characters at my very being. If I am crying while I read your writing, consider it a compliment.
Top 3 Things to Revive Creativity
When I am in hustle mode, I overwork myself. I have given too many yes to projects because I have interests in so many things; it is hard to say no. Then it happens. I sit down to write and my creativity back. Exhaustion is likely because my projects keep me up late or take up any downtime I might squeeze in. I get in a funk, and my creative well is empty. I have written down these top things to do when the well is dry, and I need a fast pick me up.
1. Online Art Museums
One of the fastest ways I get inspired is by going to an art museum, but the closest museum I have is an hour away. It is not too far to go, but when I am on a deadline, or I cannot go places, I turn my computer into my very own museum. You can search online art museum exhibits, and it will bring up pages of results. Pick the top 3 to visit or refine your search.
I take a few deep breathes while I look at the images. Then I allow myself to think if I were telling a story about this object, what would it be. It is a great prompt to get the writing going again or just your mind to flow again.
If you feel this will take too much time, then go to YouTube and search for art museums.
The search and exploring should take a max of 30-45 minutes.
2. Netflix Shows
I know that Netflix can be a dangerous place for anyone because you can quickly lose track of time, but sometimes in a creative desert, it is wise to give the mind a break for a while.
In this case, I recommend two ideas, either watch an interesting documentary one that I recently got into was Down to Earth. It got me thinking about different parts of the world and societal changes.
The other idea is a show you know you will get lost in. Allowing my mind to let go is a more difficult task for me. I recently found myself taken away by the Umbrella Academy because I am more a sci-fi, dystopian, and fantasy type person.
Only watch one episode do not exceed 60 minutes.
3. READ
Reading should be a given to any writer, especially, but sometimes it is challenging to get yourself in reading mode. If you are not already in the middle of a current book, then I would suggest short stories or poetry. Either of them can pack a creative punch to the dry wells.
I go after 100-word stories or poetry if I just need a little shot of creativeness. I will read three or four poems or micro-fiction stories. Don’t make it hard. You can search for hundred-word stories, best short stories, or poetry.
If reading is still not doing it for you, I recommend going to YouTube and typing in spoken word poetry.
These are my top three things I do to help get myself back into a creative mode. I recommend setting the alarm or timer for each of these because it can be easy to get lost on the internet.
There are always seasons when the creative wells run dry. It is important to get rest. If you find yourself zapped more often than not, it might mean you need to offload projects or take some time off.
My favorites to get you started.
In the meantime, just write.
30 Days of Not Writing
After writing for a while, have you stopped?
I feel like when a writer stops writing, they are trying to drive themselves mad. There have been many times I took breaks in writing.
Day 1- You didn’t write—no big deal.
Day 2 - You are tired and will go to sleep instead, so you are rested for tomorrow’s writing session.
Day 3 - Oh, that show you wanted to watch is on during your writing time. It has a character that would maybe help you develop yours.
Day 4 - Soccer practice in 100-degree heat.
Day 5 - Reading a friend’s blog. They are so good.
Day 6 - Late night trip to store for ice cream.
Day 7 - You are so irritated by everything today. No way you are writing. You are too mad at nothing.
Day 8 - Facebook.
Day 9 - Walking the dog and getting out in nature. What a beautiful day to write about tomorrow.
Day 10 -The book you have been waiting for comes in, and you start reading it because it is like the book you have been trying to write.
Day 11 - You must sleep because you feel like crap after staying up all night to read.
Day 12 - Family fight about you being too irritable.
Day 13 - Stare out the window, and your mind just wonders.
Day 14 - Clean the entire house from top to bottom.
Day 15 - Youtube Worm Whole
Day 16 -Totalling up student loan debt.
Day 17 -Trying to figure out how to make money doing the thing you love.
Day 18 - Twitter
Day 19 - Planning out your life for the next six months.
Day 20 - Movie Night
Day 21 - Realizing there is still a deadly virus out there and you rewrite all your goals.
Day 22 - Wondering why everyone is producing books and blogs, but you still don’t.
Day 23 - Instagram
Day 24 - Thinking about a book about the end of the world, it is no longer fun because of current world reality.
Day 25 - Netflix binge-watching shows you have already seen.
Day 26 - Wondering when the next Marvel movie will be out.
Day 27 - Start playing a new game to relax.
Day 28 - Become obsessed with the game.
Day 29 - Beyond occupied by game.
Day 30 - Okay, this has to stop, and you need to write tomorrow!
Okay, that was fun, just keep writing.
Embrace Yourself Writer
It takes me a little bit to remember what it was like in my world before the internet. Days lasted forever because I was outside, always running, playing, and making up stories. I would spend hours staring outside my window, watching the wind blow through the trees. Now I look at trees in pictures on my phone. My world revolves around the internet, even my job relies on it. I got caught up recently in the comparison game on social media. I had to tell myself daily, jealousy isn’t worth it because no one’s life is perfect, and I only see the highlight reel.
So when I was struggling with the comparison game, I’d come across hundreds of posts, blogs, and videos about loving who you are. With all this time at home lately, I have been overly reflective of my life, and I was considering the following...
How many of us, especially artists, take self-love to heart?
Do you believe people when they say you can dream big dreams?
When someone compliments our work, does it get through to our hearts? Do we even know how to take a compliment?
Comparison is one scab I have been picking about often now. This year, in particular, because I have been online more than have been ever, I am comparing myself to everyone out there.
My social media reads...
He is writing 2500 words every day!
She just published her first poetry collection!
They are making thousands of freelancing and off their blogs how!
These posts would be motivating for some people, but for me, all I am doing is comparing my life to theirs. No, I have no idea what their home life is like or other commitments. I am strictly looking at how much they produce and noticing I am not producing that much. Kindly I remind myself of the writer I am and to go at my own pace in my own time. I have to tell myself I will work a little every day to chip away at what I am trying to accomplish.
The next scab I am picking is you don’t know anything. In the grand scheme of the world, it’s true, I know very little. Even when I focus on writing alone, I am sure I have only skimmed the surface. I feel this way because I have a degree in creative writing.
Have you been to a university library where there are floors and floors of books?
There are millions of blogs posted daily as well.
How could I ever consume that much information?
Only an AI could read all of the material being put out there now. Again gently, I realize in my own life, I am an expert when it comes to my struggles with writing and getting in my own way.
The last scab I have been picking is that no one will read this or give a crap. There is some truth to that statement. Many will read this blog and never click on my site again. I know I am not alone because we all go through times where we question what we are producing.
However, I have to remember the one. The one is the person we all write for, but sometimes we forget about them. They are the ones that will say yeah me too. I have been there, or I am there right now. And even if they don’t get anything else out of this, they will know they are not alone fighting to be a writer.
It is easy to get lost in all of these mindsets as a writer, but I’m going to ask you to fight them as I do.
Your story really matters, write it.
Your creative mind matters, be kind.
Your writing could save one person from loneliness.
We were not all made to write 2500 words a day, or publish our book tomorrow. That is okay. No, really, it is okay.
Be the writer you were made to be.
I’m calling out to you struggling writers be kind to yourself because we still need you.
We really need you.
Stop self-loathing for wasting so much time.
Give yourself a break, wake up tomorrow with new hope, and try the next day again if it all goes to crap.
Start with 5 minutes and then work your way to 10 minutes.
Give yourself 10 minutes of self-care in one day.
Accept who you are as a writer and allow yourself to be that writer, not the one you think you should be.
In the meantime, let it all go and just write.
When Dreams Don't Work Out
Do you know what it is like to have a dream, and then life throws you problem after problem when you are just starting out. Then, you finally give up on the said dream? The life you always imagined is gone in the blink of an eye, and you start to think about old goals, and you try to come up with new ones, but none of them fill that void of the dream that will never be. This has happened to me so many times I can’t even count.
At first, I wanted to be a ballerina, but I was told from a young age, I never had the body. My turn out was not enough, and my body type would always be an issue. I did dance for 14 years despite the abuse until my body couldn’t take it anymore.
There were shorter dreams like wanting to be in the FBI or CIA to be an agent. It was about the greater good for me, thinking I would make a difference in the world.
My life long dream has been wanting to be a writer. Even now, while writing, I still have those moments when I struggle with the idea of being a writer.
What is being a writer, really?
Writing daily?
Writing a few times a week?
When you publish your work?
When you are paid to publish your work?
When you are paid to publish your work by a literary magazine only?
When you win an award?
I had this professor in college, and it was my first time on campus. I was randomly assigned to him and had decided on an emphasis on poetry because the previous year, I was having a love affair with Yeats, Keats, and Byron. We were quite the foursome, and I was still lost in my lovers’ haze when the professor sat there staring at me.
“Do you have a burning desire to write?” He turned back to his computer, searching for classes.
“Sorry?” I only am concerned with burning sensations when I pee.
“Do you have a burning desire to write, is a fire within you that can’t be contained?” He was yelling now. “It is the only way you will ever make it.”
I was silent and unsure why someone would associate burning with desire. When you say burning, I immediately go to infection
“WELL!”
“Yes,” I whisper, raising my brow to see if I have said the correct answer.
“Okay.” He stared a few moments at me and then continued on planning my classes.
This was my introduction to if you know whether you are a writer or not. While I still think he should have seen his doctor about all his burning feelings, it wasn’t until many years later that I understood his point. My goals in that first meeting were still the safe route, and I planned on being a professor. I had to make sure I had a stable income while I produced my art.
What I didn’t understand then was how much passion it would take to get my dreams off the ground. I was not a favorite student of anyone in the department. While I had good grades, no one told me to submit my work to publish or anything.
When I graduated, I did whatever other student was doing trying to get a job as a writer. Without an internship or experience of any kind, I had to give up on the dream then to pay the bills.
I didn’t know years later I would pick up writing again, and I would dream of a new dream. It was about writing for the one person who needed it.
There are many times I have gotten caught up in my dreams of changing the world. I have always thought if I am not changing it in significant ways, then clearly, I am not doing enough. But I am improving this world with the one person who reads what I write and gets out of it what they needed. So I am learning it is okay to take an old dream and give birth to a new dream. It is okay when things don’t work. Just don’t stop dreaming.
In the meantime, just write.
Spring Writing Community
I finished up Camp NaNoWriMo with flying colors this year. I got another 30,000 words written on various projects throughout the month. Sadly I didn’t get as much poetry written as I had hoped. There were other short story projects I was experimenting with, and even though I had left poetry behind, it was what I needed right now.
I have already started my participation in the SuperStars at StoryADay. This group writes a story every day in May. I am a prompt addict, so I love this challenge and have participated for a few years now.
I can’t tell you how much this group of people have changed my life and how I look at writing. I have forged really great friendships and community within StoryADay. I love May because there can be so much interaction, and each year we get to meet new people. The growth is impressive as I look back on my experiences over the few years of being with StoryADay I have blossomed and grown so much.
My writing habit lately has been suffering this year. I have taken on a new project for people and their social media, so it has been a little bit busier than I expected.
This week though, I have been buckling down to write even just a little bit each day. What do I mean by a little bit? I mean, if I get one sentence on the page for me, it is a win.
Do I want to do more yes, and do I usually yes? But there are days when the exhaustion hits me, and maybe I am just getting a few words out, or perhaps I am just journaling today because I have too many things on my mind today. I believe writing in any form or feeding that creativity helps you be a better writer.
This weekend is also the NYC Midnight 100 word microfiction challenge. I have decided to participate in this contest. I enjoyed the short story challenge so much in January I thought this might be a great way to get my feet wet in Flash Fiction.
Flash Fiction was not something I was taught about in college. Still, thanks to the age of the internet, I have found many resources to help me navigate the flash fiction world. A writer friend recommended Kathy Fish, and can I say her classes on Skillshare were great for this art.
I have been learning a lot on Skillshare, brushing up on my German, which I have been doing for the last six months now. There are many drawing classes and just writing courses in general. I am not going to say every class is quality because it isn’t to me just like you are not going to like every book I like.
This month has a lot of promise, and I will be excited to share with you next week how I have been getting out of my reading funk.
Don’t forget, just write.
Poetry Camp for NaNoWriMo
Hello April! I hope everyone is as safe as they can be. I am here to talk a little bit about Camp NaNoWriMo this year. This year is the first camp with the new NaNo website makeover. It was difficult for me last year in November to get the hang of what we were doing and how it all worked. I have since played around more with the site, and I am enjoying my camping experience.
The best update I see so far on the NaNo website is that the cabins we had during camp have been turned into permeant writing groups. It certainly doesn’t mean you cannot leave the group you are in if you don’t like it. However, it does mean you have instant access to the buddies you have been writing with twice a year in November too.
There were some other updates to the projects and goals I have not been as excited about. In the past, I used the hourly timed options as my goal when it comes to my writing. It was a way to build up my writing time during April and July. There are only options for the number of words now. However, you can make your project a little more specific now with drafting, editing, and publishing options as well as the type of writing you are working novel, short story, poetry, nonfiction, and more.
While I miss the hourly goals, they have made two websites now one, and they more useable all year round. Just being able to talk to your writing group year-round is an exciting thought. If you wanted to track projects with word counts and dates, it is also a valuable tool for free. I think this was a brilliant move on their part to make Camp and Nano more uniform and user friendly.
I have decided to join a couple of different writing groups this year. I am with my regular group this year. I have been a part of my regular cabin for two years now and a new writing group to expand my writing community. I have been getting to know new writers and chatting with my regular group since mid-March. I recommend trying out different groups if you have never attempted camp before, and it is such a great way to find new people to interact with in the world.
This year for the camp, I am writing poetry. Poetry was how I started writing. I didn’t write short stories or a novel as a child. It was poetry that came out of me. I couldn’t figure out how to express the emotions running deep in me, so the way they came out was in the written word. For me, it was oral before it was written while I bottle-fed baby calves in the barn. Poetry was dancing in my head and then out of my mouth like a song I always knew but had never heard. I have missed poetry; she was always my first love. It was the thing that understood me before I understood myself.
Poetry has been something that has trying to get out of me for years now after I tried to silence it. Poetry has been all along bubbling under the surface. I decided to let out this lion inside me out for a solid month to see what I could produce. I am not sure what will happen, but I hope it will help me process my life as my writing often does. I hope to see you in the CampNaNo world and if not…Just write.
Top 5 Ways I Avoid Writing
This last week I was doing a writing contest, and it got to the point where I had to make myself literally sit down to finish the piece. By finish the story, I mean out of my head and on the screen. I was nervous about doing my first contest and sending my work out there. What I promised myself this year is to be dauntless and keep moving in spite of fear.
So if you talk to me and I am doing these 5 things, it is likely I am avoiding a larger project. I have a book I have been working on as well, and my characters are getting impatient.
1. Deep cleaning everything.
Now you might think, how could this be procrastinating? Maybe you really do need to clean. There are days when cleaning is necessary, but this type of cleaning is taking one room at a time and deep cleaning. I will spend hours in one place that is not dirty, to begin with. No, this is a sure sign that I need to talk to someone about something. I am mulling things over in my mind too much, and the only way I can get started wrapping my head around writing is cleaning.
2. Watching a show, I have already seen it.
I’m not particularly eager to waste my time watching shows I have already seen unless it is Friends. So, if I am watching something I have already seen, then you know I might not want to focus on the writing assignment on hand.
3. All of a sudden, I need to go to the store.
Now we are not talking about milk and eggs run people. We are talking about any stationery or book store I can find. It is not about the essentials, but we are talking about needing a new pen because it is going to write so much better than the 100 other pens I have at home in the drawer.
4. Lost on the scroll of social media.
I like social media like everyone else, but if I am on Facebook for an entire night, there is something really wrong. So if you see me on Facebook all night, then know another work of art is on hold. It is only Facebook. I get lost on though it is like my comfort blanket because I have had it for so long. However, it is not helping me get my writing done. Okay, I might have a little bit of a Twitter problem as well.
5. I must replan everything in my life right now.
This was maybe less obvious to catch. I am a huge planner freak, and I love trying out new planners all the time. However, if I am trying a new planner, it is probably because I am trying to figure out how to get more time in the day to write a project I am avoiding. Oh, the irony of just using the time I am to plan to just write instead of thinking I can squeeze more hours out of my day.
When I am avoiding writing, I usually need hugs, help, and encouragement from people surrounding me. This is not about avoidance of everyday writing but often a more significant project I am trying to finish. I am a talker, and I need to talk about my problem or grief out of my head so I can get back to my project. Know you are not alone when you are putting off the big creative projects. Don’t forget when you are being productive there might someone else avoiding because they need to work through something. Send your quiet friends and encouraging words because they might really need it.
Poetry - Alone
I don’t even know where I am going
As the car rocks me back and forth on
A highway I have driven in autopilot skitters by.
Black asphalt ahead like film off of its projector and twirling against gray hues in the sky.
Brown plants along the edges of the road resisted these changes to their wilderness and died while trying to rebel.
An emptiness encompasses me as tears begin to pool at the bottom of my chin before dripping in my lap.
Screams explode out of me into the silent car, and my throat instantly becomes sore.
My mind longing to be changed and heart missing all connections.
Finally, a car comes to change the scene as I wipe my eyes on my work shirt.
My eyes are wiped when my head hits the roof of my car, and my chest punched hard.
I cannot open my eyes now; only darkness is there.
2020 Word of the Year
Have you chosen a word of the year yet? It is okay if you haven't last year I didn't get my word until around the 14th. This year I didn't know what my word was until this week. It changed a lot of the course of the last few days. It was hard to figure out because I have the expectations of what seems okay compared to what I really want to do. I had written a list of my goals for last year, and they are similar to what I wanted to accomplish last year. I did lose about three months to 2019 because of family illness. I wasn't able to launch my own blog until April and really struggled with the separation of my original blog into two different types of blogs. I was happy about the vision I had for the two separate blogs. These blogs seemed to be different sides of me. The new blog will come back in the Spring but no date at this point. It is very different; it taps more into my faith and into my passion for studying various aspects of religion.
I was trying to figure out what I had really happened last year. There were habits I was glad I had focused on like I read 20 books and was consistent for 70 days on my German lessons. However, there were other vital goals I was not accomplishing. I wanted to post on my new blog three times a week. I wanted to write at least one story a week without fail. However, I found 2019 another hard year for me figuring out how to cope with life changes. I was dealing with panic attacks and a level of anxiety I had never experienced in my life before. Sure I have been a worrier about this, but this year I was really isolated from people, and there were a lot of connections with friends that fell apart. I didn't have people to lean on this year, and when I did, I felt like I shouldn't be talking about things in my life because they were not significant or tragic. There are times, though, when all the little things start to pile up and feel like a lot. I didn't know how to handle it, but I know I lot of it was rooted in my lack of trust and my fear.
Some fears are rational, but this last year had too many irrational fears. One of my worries was refusing to trust people with my vulnerability. I am doubting my ability to recover another big emotional blow. I haven't left the 60-mile radius from my home because my car is older and needs work. I have not been writing, which is the thing I have loved for many years because I was afraid I wasn't good enough, and what is worse is what happened if I was good enough but holding myself back. I have been lost inside my head for weeks or months with all of these worries. For the last few months, I have been working on breaking free.
This year I chose the word dauntless. It came to me the other day. At first, I couldn't figure out why it was so important, except I realized all of the things from this last year of my life were not completed because I was full of fear. The idea is I know I will never be rid of fear I have, but I can move instead of allowing fear to keep me frozen in time. Dauntless came to be first through Veronica Roth and her Divergent series. I envied those in the Dauntless sect because they did seem so free. I was a time in my life when I allowed my mind to be open again to pursuing my dream of writing. I had to break through those fears, and yet I will use this word to break through my fears. I will rekindle old friendships and make new ones. I will participate in writing contest this year, and send stories out for publication.
Whatever your word, goal, or habit, maybe this year, when you mess up to give yourself the grace to forgive yourself and start over again.
The Gratitude Experiment
When you take time off from anything, make sure you are using that time to dig deep in your soul about things you might have been putting off. One of my focuses on my time off was my mindset. This year I have been trying to understand mindset because there have been so many mentally taxing this year. In fact, most of the people I have been talking to have said this year has been mentally crazy and exhausting. I guess it could be said about every year, but it is not valid.
So, I finally broke down and read the Power of Positive Thinking and watched many YouTube videos about positive thoughts, gratitude, and inspiration. I fed my mind with these positive things because, in my struggle, I am running out of the alternatives.
You know when you are so sick you decide to try something because you are like what could it hurt? It is where I was within reason, of course, and sat there thinking over a week what could it hurt to try positive thinking and gratitude?
Now I am a skeptic and very analytical when it comes to adding new things in my life. While researching positive thinking, there were a lot of ways people had mentioned to go about becoming more positive. Some of the suggestions were getting rid of toxic people, getting rid of clutter, and spending more time on self-care. When I looked at these particular items, I thought positive thinking wasn’t going to work. How could I avoid toxic people they are everywhere? I’ve been unpacking my life box by box for years now after a move I have clutter all over until I can sort through things. I love the idea of self-care, and of course, I would love to spend more time on it, but I am a single parent, so I only get so many minutes in that department. Was I making excuses, of course, I was because I wanted it to be comfortable and not make my life harder. I am a baby steps kind of person.
Upon further research into the positive thinking world, I found people using affirmations, vision boards, and gratitude lists. These were things I felt like I could make time for and experiment with. I needed to make this accessible anywhere because there were many times when I wasn’t home and need a way to pick myself up. I decided to go with the Trello app. I have used the free version of Trello to track my writing, so using it for something else essential to be well being seemed to fit. Trello could be accessed from any device or through the website.
The Experiment.
1. Find some affirmations that would apply.
It was easy to find some affirmations online; there are lists of them everywhere. I found a couple pictures that had lists of affirmations I knew applied to things I needed to change my mind about. I copied these pictures and added them to a happy board I created. Writing has been important to me for many years, so I also found just two of my favorite writing quotes and one inspirational quote to keep me motivated.
2. Gratitude list
I created a board in Trello to list three things I was grateful for in the morning, which was a great way to keep myself off social media in the early morning hours. These could be simple things or complex ideas. Some days I was thankful for AC, and other days I was grateful for the galaxy.
3. Victories List
I decided to create a list for victories of the day that I have seen used in particular planners. I had been struggling with feeling like I have been making progress in my goals, so at night, I would list three things as my victories. This was anything from I had a customer thank me for my dedication, I got to go to bed early, or I had a good talk with my kiddo about school.
4. Vision Board
My vision board was just a few pictures of how I would like to see my life in the next few years. Images were representing relationships, my living situation, joy, and a variety of other ideas.
I did all of these things for a solid month, and my positivity was through the roof. I had the energy to lift others up who were having a bad day. I was not nearly upset with the circumstances of my life. It was unusual how much changed and how my point of view really shifted.
I stopped to see if it would make a difference, and let me tell you it did. Within a couple weeks of stopping, I wasn’t right back where I started, but I could feel the pressure and anxiety begin to build again. So if you are having a hard time writing like I was or just dealing with the personal things going on in your life, give gratitude a chance and see what it can do for you.
*This is not meant to take the place of medical advice. If you are having mental health problems, please seek help. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact the suicide hotline at call 1-800-273-8255.