C.H. Schoen 7/16/21 C.H. Schoen 7/16/21

Five Minute Friday - Strong

I never asked to be strong, and there are many times throughout the day when I question how strong I really am. I have been told many times I am strong because it was a hard time. That is what people say to you “You will make it because you are strong.”

Maybe I never wanted to be strong but felt like I wasn’t given a chance. What do we even consider to be strong in our world?

I wonder…

Is the person who says they are struggling mentally strong or

The person who refuses to have any type of emotion the strong one?

Is the friend who is always there for you even when their world is falling apart strong

The friend who leaves without a word because they know they are too broken?

Can the one who breaks themselves to fit into society the

The one who breaks all the rules society gives them stronger?

Is the mom who stays at home with the kids the stronger

The mom who continues on with a career?

Are we only as strong as our circumstances allow

Are we as strong as the stories we tell ourselves?

In this blog I have taken 5 minutes with the prompt word and above is my free write.

C.H. Schoen 5/14/21 C.H. Schoen 5/14/21

Five Minute Friday - Middle

I'm in the middle of a mess in my mind. My thoughts are being diced into fine herbs lost in a saute of worry. While I grab for these thoughts, like an angry dog trying to stop the water coming out the hose. I look around, longing to see my friends' hope and understanding in these days ahead, but I fear they have lost their way back to me. I walk from room to room, pacing, waiting for my mind to heal to feel something else besides numbness.

I settle in the middle of my bedroom floor while the sun rays warm me before the rain comes. I stare out the window to watch the trees dance in the wind of the approaching storm. I could never understand why these moments felt like seconds in comparison to the years of pain I endure.

There must be something wrong with me. Somewhere in the middle of my life, I made a wrong turn. I chose the wrong path. My mind filled with every bad thing in my world. Some….something is wrong me with me. No matter how bright the sun shines on me, the coldness floods in.

Chills begin to form, and my body shakes from head to toe. The middle of me is full of darkness, waiting to escape into the world. The black haze whispers things out of me to where the darkness lies. But the pain will not leave me because, at my core, I am darkness. I am the night. I am death.

In this blog I have taken 5 minutes with the prompt word and above is my free write.

C.H. Schoen 1/30/21 C.H. Schoen 1/30/21

Five Minute Friday - Design

There are so many purses I have designs for, but I have never made them because of the sewing needles aspect. It makes me wonder how I was designed are there pieces of me that needed to come with me, but I couldn’t fit. Even now, I still don’t know what I am designed to do. I could be an excellent clutch for someone. Maybe I am an overnight bag or a long-lasting piece of luggage.

I sit feeling unmade, always feeling like there should be something more happening in my life. Yet, in the same breathe, I’m grateful for the simplicity of my life as a trusted black leather purse. I see myself as suitable for work and play no matter the time of day. I carry in me all the things that people want but sometimes forget they have. They go off to buy a new black bag thinking it would better than me. They always keep coming back to me, though, because I have the perfect strap length, and I’m not too big and not too small.

There are times when I wish I could take the designing wheel to make myself have beads, feathers, or a fun underlay cut out because so many people feel the design of a black bag is blah. In fact, I only own one, and though it is perfect, I find myself grabbing anything else to bring color to my life instead of old black.

My mind is complex and thrives on more knowledge as well as a balance of rest. I wish to be designed to do the ultra runs of life but keep finding resistance and that my mind will not allow me to go headstrong in one way. I’m forever bound to love everything.

In this blog I have taken 5 minutes with the prompt word design and above is my free write.