Five Minute Friday - Middle

I'm in the middle of a mess in my mind. My thoughts are being diced into fine herbs lost in a saute of worry. While I grab for these thoughts, like an angry dog trying to stop the water coming out the hose. I look around, longing to see my friends' hope and understanding in these days ahead, but I fear they have lost their way back to me. I walk from room to room, pacing, waiting for my mind to heal to feel something else besides numbness. 

I settle in the middle of my bedroom floor while the sun rays warm me before the rain comes. I stare out the window to watch the trees dance in the wind of the approaching storm. I could never understand why these moments felt like seconds in comparison to the years of pain I endure. 

There must be something wrong with me. Somewhere in the middle of my life, I made a wrong turn. I chose the wrong path. My mind filled with every bad thing in my world. Some….something is wrong me with me. No matter how bright the sun shines on me, the coldness floods in. 

Chills begin to form, and my body shakes from head to toe. The middle of me is full of darkness, waiting to escape into the world. The black haze whispers things out of me to where the darkness lies. But the pain will not leave me because, at my core, I am darkness. I am the night. I am death.

In this blog I have taken 5 minutes with the prompt word and above is my free write.