When Dreams Don't Work Out

Do you know what it is like to have a dream, and then life throws you problem after problem when you are just starting out. Then, you finally give up on the said dream? The life you always imagined is gone in the blink of an eye, and you start to think about old goals, and you try to come up with new ones, but none of them fill that void of the dream that will never be. This has happened to me so many times I can’t even count. 

At first, I wanted to be a ballerina, but I was told from a young age, I never had the body. My turn out was not enough, and my body type would always be an issue. I did dance for 14 years despite the abuse until my body couldn’t take it anymore. 

There were shorter dreams like wanting to be in the FBI or CIA to be an agent. It was about the greater good for me, thinking I would make a difference in the world. 

My life long dream has been wanting to be a writer. Even now, while writing, I still have those moments when I struggle with the idea of being a writer.

What is being a writer, really?

Writing daily?

Writing a few times a week?

When you publish your work?

When you are paid to publish your work?

When you are paid to publish your work by a literary magazine only?

When you win an award?

I had this professor in college, and it was my first time on campus. I was randomly assigned to him and had decided on an emphasis on poetry because the previous year, I was having a love affair with Yeats, Keats, and Byron. We were quite the foursome, and I was still lost in my lovers’ haze when the professor sat there staring at me. 

“Do you have a burning desire to write?” He turned back to his computer, searching for classes. 

“Sorry?” I only am concerned with burning sensations when I pee. 

“Do you have a burning desire to write, is a fire within you that can’t be contained?” He was yelling now. “It is the only way you will ever make it.” 

I was silent and unsure why someone would associate burning with desire. When you say burning, I immediately go to infection

“WELL!”

“Yes,” I whisper, raising my brow to see if I have said the correct answer. 

“Okay.” He stared a few moments at me and then continued on planning my classes. 

This was my introduction to if you know whether you are a writer or not. While I still think he should have seen his doctor about all his burning feelings, it wasn’t until many years later that I understood his point. My goals in that first meeting were still the safe route, and I planned on being a professor. I had to make sure I had a stable income while I produced my art. 

What I didn’t understand then was how much passion it would take to get my dreams off the ground. I was not a favorite student of anyone in the department. While I had good grades, no one told me to submit my work to publish or anything. 

When I graduated, I did whatever other student was doing trying to get a job as a writer. Without an internship or experience of any kind, I had to give up on the dream then to pay the bills. 

I didn’t know years later I would pick up writing again, and I would dream of a new dream. It was about writing for the one person who needed it.  

There are many times I have gotten caught up in my dreams of changing the world. I have always thought if I am not changing it in significant ways, then clearly, I am not doing enough. But I am improving this world with the one person who reads what I write and gets out of it what they needed. So I am learning it is okay to take an old dream and give birth to a new dream. It is okay when things don’t work. Just don’t stop dreaming. 

In the meantime, just write. 

Monday's Mug 017

Hello friends! Welcome back to my Monday Mug. It is hot here in the Midwest, and summer has arrived. It is excellent outside before 7 am and after 7 pm, but without a breeze, the daytime temps can take it out of you. Our weather has been strange this year we had a lot of rain in May. I am settling down with my cup of tea tonight. I will get you some if you would like. 

If we had a mug, I’d tell you I feel like I am being tested this year in what I know about my limits. I volunteered to do something outside of my comfort zone when it comes to social media. Doing media in this way was a risk for me to see what I could produce and what type of progress I could make for this client. It made me see how much I could be there for someone else.  I loved helping them with the successes of their business. It was a victory for me in more ways than one, and I hope it will lead to future endeavors.

If we had a mug, I’d tell you about doing the NYC Midnight Challenge for micro-fiction in May because we haven’t spoken since in a while. It was so much fun and a lot harder than I expected. I was given an action, a genre, and a word to use. I enjoy prompts, and because I have been a prompt addict for a long time, so this was perfect. The part I didn’t realize would be so hard is cutting down my word count. I focused on every word I used and what purpose the term served to my story. 

If we had a mug, I would tell you how great superstars for StoryADay have been. People were talking all the time about writing, which was terrific. I live in a more isolated area where there are not many writers locally, and with Covid-19 restrictions, a lot of groups have been going online. I love that StoryADay exists for the community to writers all over the world. There are writers all over the world. It is exciting to meet new people. 

I have been learning about myself this last week and how I haven’t been there for myself in a real and loving way. I want to accomplish many dreams, and I know I’m in my way. I have learned I will go to the moon to encourage someone else and help them believe in their dream, but I haven’t believed in my own. It is time for a change. 

In the meantime, just write. 

Spring Writing Community

I finished up Camp NaNoWriMo with flying colors this year. I got another 30,000 words written on various projects throughout the month. Sadly I didn’t get as much poetry written as I had hoped. There were other short story projects I was experimenting with, and even though I had left poetry behind, it was what I needed right now.

I have already started my participation in the SuperStars at StoryADay. This group writes a story every day in May. I am a prompt addict, so I love this challenge and have participated for a few years now. 

 I can’t tell you how much this group of people have changed my life and how I look at writing. I have forged really great friendships and community within StoryADay. I love May because there can be so much interaction, and each year we get to meet new people. The growth is impressive as I look back on my experiences over the few years of being with StoryADay I have blossomed and grown so much. 

My writing habit lately has been suffering this year. I have taken on a new project for people and their social media, so it has been a little bit busier than I expected. 

This week though, I have been buckling down to write even just a little bit each day. What do I mean by a little bit? I mean, if I get one sentence on the page for me, it is a win. 

Do I want to do more yes, and do I usually yes? But there are days when the exhaustion hits me, and maybe I am just getting a few words out, or perhaps I am just journaling today because I have too many things on my mind today. I believe writing in any form or feeding that creativity helps you be a better writer. 

This weekend is also the NYC Midnight 100 word microfiction challenge.  I have decided to participate in this contest.  I enjoyed the short story challenge so much in January I thought this might be a great way to get my feet wet in Flash Fiction. 

Flash Fiction was not something I was taught about in college. Still, thanks to the age of the internet, I have found many resources to help me navigate the flash fiction world. A writer friend recommended Kathy Fish, and can I say her classes on Skillshare were great for this art. 

I have been learning a lot on Skillshare, brushing up on my German, which I have been doing for the last six months now. There are many drawing classes and just writing courses in general. I am not going to say every class is quality because it isn’t to me just like you are not going to like every book I like. 

This month has a lot of promise, and I will be excited to share with you next week how I have been getting out of my reading funk. 

Don’t forget, just write. 

Monday's Mug 016

Hello Friends! Welcome back to my Monday Mug. I am sitting down on this very rainy day in my living room on my fluffy couch. I will be drinking some green tea again because I am still loving it. 

I can get you a coffee or tea if you would like?

Last week was a blur. I feel like lately, I am busier with doing all these things at home than I was when we were out and about in the world. Now don’t get me wrong I am in no rush to get out and about with this pandemic going on, but sometimes I just want to feel more relaxed in my own home. 

Do you have this feeling too? 

I work at home, and I am incredibly grateful to be able to do this, but my work/home balance is really off right now. I think it is because my office is in my living room, which worked fine when it was just my writing desk, but now it is my daytime working desk too. 14 hours at one desk is a little too much for me. If I am on the couch, then I am still looking at the work desk that reminds me of work, not writing. In fact, I have had to take most of my writing in my bedroom to get it done. 

I find myself on more zoom meetings than I can count because it is educational, community, or school stuff for my children. Now I enjoy a good zoom meeting, but there is only so much screen time I can take. I am homeschooling my child, something I had only ever dreamed of but have been doing full time for about a month now. Our relationship at home couldn’t be better aside from the days when we are exhausted, and cabin fever is getting to us. 

Camp Nano is going great. I am meeting my word count goals, and I am writing a lot. I am not getting a lot of poetry done, but I am writing in general. 

The days I cannot get poetry to flow, I have been working on different aspects of my writing. Currently, I am working on dialogue and trying to get a more realistic feel for it. As well as allowing the character to really shine through. It is not as easy as I thought it might be. I am on the hunt for more exercises for dialogue if you have one for me leave it below or email me. 

The struggle of this stay at home life has been hard. It was only a couple of weeks ago I was able to focus long enough to finish reading a book. I have been keeping a journal of what is happening and when I feel overwhelmed. 

Being overwhelmed for me usually happens when I am on social media too much. Sometimes being overwhelmed is because maybe I was foolish and turned on the news in the morning while I got ready for work. 

I would recommend keeping a journal of what is going on in your life. You never know when you might use these experiences for a writing piece later. 

So until next time, just write. 

Poetry Camp for NaNoWriMo

Hello April! I hope everyone is as safe as they can be. I am here to talk a little bit about Camp NaNoWriMo this year. This year is the first camp with the new NaNo website makeover. It was difficult for me last year in November to get the hang of what we were doing and how it all worked. I have since played around more with the site, and I am enjoying my camping experience. 

The best update I see so far on the NaNo website is that the cabins we had during camp have been turned into permeant writing groups. It certainly doesn’t mean you cannot leave the group you are in if you don’t like it. However, it does mean you have instant access to the buddies you have been writing with twice a year in November too. 

There were some other updates to the projects and goals I have not been as excited about. In the past, I used the hourly timed options as my goal when it comes to my writing. It was a way to build up my writing time during April and July. There are only options for the number of words now. However, you can make your project a little more specific now with drafting, editing, and publishing options as well as the type of writing you are working novel, short story, poetry, nonfiction, and more. 

While I miss the hourly goals, they have made two websites now one, and they more useable all year round. Just being able to talk to your writing group year-round is an exciting thought. If you wanted to track projects with word counts and dates, it is also a valuable tool for free. I think this was a brilliant move on their part to make Camp and Nano more uniform and user friendly. 

I have decided to join a couple of different writing groups this year. I am with my regular group this year. I have been a part of my regular cabin for two years now and a new writing group to expand my writing community. I have been getting to know new writers and chatting with my regular group since mid-March. I recommend trying out different groups if you have never attempted camp before, and it is such a great way to find new people to interact with in the world. 

This year for the camp, I am writing poetry. Poetry was how I started writing. I didn’t write short stories or a novel as a child. It was poetry that came out of me. I couldn’t figure out how to express the emotions running deep in me, so the way they came out was in the written word. For me, it was oral before it was written while I bottle-fed baby calves in the barn. Poetry was dancing in my head and then out of my mouth like a song I always knew but had never heard. I have missed poetry; she was always my first love. It was the thing that understood me before I understood myself. 

Poetry has been something that has trying to get out of me for years now after I tried to silence it. Poetry has been all along bubbling under the surface. I decided to let out this lion inside me out for a solid month to see what I could produce. I am not sure what will happen, but I hope it will help me process my life as my writing often does. I hope to see you in the CampNaNo world and if not…Just write. 

Top 5 Ways I Avoid Writing

This last week I was doing a writing contest, and it got to the point where I had to make myself literally sit down to finish the piece. By finish the story, I mean out of my head and on the screen. I was nervous about doing my first contest and sending my work out there. What I promised myself this year is to be dauntless and keep moving in spite of fear. 

So if you talk to me and I am doing these 5 things, it is likely I am avoiding a larger project. I have a book I have been working on as well, and my characters are getting impatient.

1. Deep cleaning everything. 

Now you might think, how could this be procrastinating? Maybe you really do need to clean. There are days when cleaning is necessary, but this type of cleaning is taking one room at a time and deep cleaning. I will spend hours in one place that is not dirty, to begin with. No, this is a sure sign that I need to talk to someone about something. I am mulling things over in my mind too much, and the only way I can get started wrapping my head around writing is cleaning. 

2. Watching a show, I have already seen it.

I’m not particularly eager to waste my time watching shows I have already seen unless it is Friends. So, if I am watching something I have already seen, then you know I might not want to focus on the writing assignment on hand. 

3. All of a sudden, I need to go to the store.

Now we are not talking about milk and eggs run people. We are talking about any stationery or book store I can find. It is not about the essentials, but we are talking about needing a new pen because it is going to write so much better than the 100 other pens I have at home in the drawer. 

4. Lost on the scroll of social media.

I like social media like everyone else, but if I am on Facebook for an entire night, there is something really wrong. So if you see me on Facebook all night, then know another work of art is on hold. It is only Facebook. I get lost on though it is like my comfort blanket because I have had it for so long. However, it is not helping me get my writing done. Okay, I might have a little bit of a Twitter problem as well. 

5. I must replan everything in my life right now.

This was maybe less obvious to catch. I am a huge planner freak, and I love trying out new planners all the time. However, if I am trying a new planner, it is probably because I am trying to figure out how to get more time in the day to write a project I am avoiding. Oh, the irony of just using the time I am to plan to just write instead of thinking I can squeeze more hours out of my day. 

When I am avoiding writing, I usually need hugs, help, and encouragement from people surrounding me. This is not about avoidance of everyday writing but often a more significant project I am trying to finish. I am a talker, and I need to talk about my problem or grief out of my head so I can get back to my project. Know you are not alone when you are putting off the big creative projects. Don’t forget when you are being productive there might someone else avoiding because they need to work through something. Send your quiet friends and encouraging words because they might really need it. 

Monday's Mug 013

Welcome to another Monday’s Mug. There were a lot of things in my life happening this last week. I will be settling in with a nice hot cup of tea because I’m minimizing my coffee intake. Can I get something for you? The weather has been fickle around here with its up and down temperatures. It is raining in the morning and snowing at night. I felt I was a lot like the weather this last week in my productivity.

I few new things for 2020 I am doing are night pages every evening before bed on the 4thewords.com. If you don’t know about this website, it is for writers, and you can try it free for 30 days to see if you do like it.  I get in some writing for the day, and some days I do prompts instead. I call mine night pages, and I know I am not going by the rules of Morning pages in The Artist Way, but writing my pages at night on a computer at this point is what works for me.  I love the idea of doing a written journal, but I have yet to keep up with journals. 4thewords gives me incentives because I get to fight monsters and go on quests. It is not all about the game, though, and is more focused on writing than I expected. The way you defeat monsters is by writing I find this very fitting. Writing is the way I beat some of life’s monsters as well. 

I had a terrible Monday my dog of 17 years died. She had been going downhill for a while, but she finally gave up Monday. She had been such a huge part of my life through some very dark times. She was my friend and sometimes the only “person” I talked to for long stretches of my life. This might seem strange to you, but I have to say that is one thing that living in the country has always provided for me is a vivid imagination. I have talked to animals my whole life because there were no neighbor kids to hang out with. We grew up on a dairy farm, and it takes a lot of work. There were no times when we were able to leave and take vacations. The cows needed us every day twice a day. It was fun, but I have to say that my imagination and stories were being created long before I ever knew how to write any of them down.

Would you like some more to drink? 

Last week was also the first contest I have ever entered for writing. I was scared, no doubt, but after being with the Story A Day SuperStars for a couple years now, some of the fears I never thought I even had I’m realizing are fading away. I had submitted some of my work in the past, but nothing ever came of it. I was concerned at times with never being good enough. I was taking my world of writing way too seriously. 

In this last year, especially when I have felt like I have been treading water. I have been moving forward with my ability to deal with criticism. The rejection was something that terrified me, but now I am looking forward to being rejected because at least I know I am no longer in my own way, and I doing it. I am fulfilling my dream of being a published writer. I know I will be accepted one day. I have been working on my craft and I am devoting time daily to my art. 

I will talk a little more about the contest later this week, but in the middle of the contest, my family got sick. I had to be miss work a couple of days. I was trying to care for others while I was ill myself, and it was not good at all. It was a tough few days. So during that time, I wasn’t really focused on the short story contest at hand, and it was tough to get back into that frame of mind. I was happy my Story A Day group was there to support me, and one of them was doing the contest as well. We both really want to propel ourselves out into the writing world again. 

I have to go for now but remember to just write. 

Monday's Mug 012

Last week went by in a flash and before I knew it. I am sitting down to take a few moments to think about everything that happened last week. I have my cup of tea tonight. What can I get for you?

Last week was full of more goal planning for the month. I have been putting off reading a little bit lately, and I find myself longing for more community these last few days. It has been a long time since I have had some one on one time with any friends. I need to interact on Slack more as well with the Superstars. I need to stay on top of my reading goals for the year. I keep pushing off finishing some books, which is not like me because I usually want to do more in that department.

I will take a minute here and talk about the entertainment side of my life since last week; my reading has been minimal. I binge-watched Messiah on Netflix. I thought the show and acting were great. The writing was excellent. I didn't know what was going to happen next every time, which was nice because I usually can figure it out quickly. I will not give away anything here other than saying it was well written.

Are you watching anything? What is your favorite show? 

I have started Marvelous Mrs. Maisel as well, but I am taking this one a little bit at a time. This show is funny, and the writing is a dream come true. You might think I say this about all of the shows I watch, but it is not the case. I have enjoyed finding a couple of new things to watch for pushing me into a unique atmosphere when it comes to the point of view, comedy, and plot twists.

I have been working on my writing more and have been staying consistent with a little over 400 words a day since Jan 1. I am proud of myself because I haven't taken a break so far and don't plan on it.  I think I a lot of it has to do with using the 4thwords.com site to get myself a little more motivated on the not so motivated days. It has been hard for me in the past to stay consistent, but I noticed that when I did my language or another app that tracks every day you log in, I don't want to start back at day one again. It has been helping me get back into the flow of writing and to make progress on stories I have wanted to write.

I have joined the SWAP52 Club prompt /week challenge with Stop Writing Alone. This has been a great experience because I am getting to know more writers as well as new avenues for prompts. I have been consistent with writing a story each week, even though I am not sharing them right now. 

I hope you all have had a great week and we will talk next Monday again. Until then, just write.

2020 Word of the Year

Have you chosen a word of the year yet? It is okay if you haven't last year I didn't get my word until around the 14th. This year I didn't know what my word was until this week. It changed a lot of the course of the last few days. It was hard to figure out because I have the expectations of what seems okay compared to what I really want to do. I had written a list of my goals for last year, and they are similar to what I wanted to accomplish last year. I did lose about three months to 2019 because of family illness. I wasn't able to launch my own blog until April and really struggled with the separation of my original blog into two different types of blogs. I was happy about the vision I had for the two separate blogs. These blogs seemed to be different sides of me. The new blog will come back in the Spring but no date at this point. It is very different; it taps more into my faith and into my passion for studying various aspects of religion. 

I was trying to figure out what I had really happened last year. There were habits I was glad I had focused on like I read 20 books and was consistent for 70 days on my German lessons. However, there were other vital goals I was not accomplishing. I wanted to post on my new blog three times a week. I wanted to write at least one story a week without fail. However, I found 2019 another hard year for me figuring out how to cope with life changes. I was dealing with panic attacks and a level of anxiety I had never experienced in my life before. Sure I have been a worrier about this, but this year I was really isolated from people, and there were a lot of connections with friends that fell apart. I didn't have people to lean on this year, and when I did, I felt like I shouldn't be talking about things in my life because they were not significant or tragic. There are times, though, when all the little things start to pile up and feel like a lot. I didn't know how to handle it, but I know I lot of it was rooted in my lack of trust and my fear. 

Some fears are rational, but this last year had too many irrational fears. One of my worries was refusing to trust people with my vulnerability. I am doubting my ability to recover another big emotional blow. I haven't left the 60-mile radius from my home because my car is older and needs work. I have not been writing, which is the thing I have loved for many years because I was afraid I wasn't good enough, and what is worse is what happened if I was good enough but holding myself back. I have been lost inside my head for weeks or months with all of these worries. For the last few months, I have been working on breaking free. 

This year I chose the word dauntless. It came to me the other day. At first, I couldn't figure out why it was so important, except I realized all of the things from this last year of my life were not completed because I was full of fear. The idea is I know I will never be rid of fear I have, but I can move instead of allowing fear to keep me frozen in time. Dauntless came to be first through Veronica Roth and her Divergent series. I envied those in the Dauntless sect because they did seem so free. I was a time in my life when I allowed my mind to be open again to pursuing my dream of writing. I had to break through those fears, and yet I will use this word to break through my fears. I will rekindle old friendships and make new ones. I will participate in writing contest this year, and send stories out for publication. 

Whatever your word, goal, or habit, maybe this year, when you mess up to give yourself the grace to forgive yourself and start over again. 

The Gratitude Experiment

When you take time off from anything, make sure you are using that time to dig deep in your soul about things you might have been putting off.  One of my focuses on my time off was my mindset. This year I have been trying to understand mindset because there have been so many mentally taxing this year. In fact, most of the people I have been talking to have said this year has been mentally crazy and exhausting. I guess it could be said about every year, but it is not valid. 

So, I finally broke down and read the Power of Positive Thinking and watched many YouTube videos about positive thoughts, gratitude, and inspiration. I fed my mind with these positive things because, in my struggle, I am running out of the alternatives.  

You know when you are so sick you decide to try something because you are like what could it hurt? It is where I was within reason, of course, and sat there thinking over a week what could it hurt to try positive thinking and gratitude?

Now I am a skeptic and very analytical when it comes to adding new things in my life. While researching positive thinking, there were a lot of ways people had mentioned to go about becoming more positive. Some of the suggestions were getting rid of toxic people, getting rid of clutter, and spending more time on self-care. When I looked at these particular items, I thought positive thinking wasn’t going to work. How could I avoid toxic people they are everywhere? I’ve been unpacking my life box by box for years now after a move I have clutter all over until I can sort through things. I love the idea of self-care, and of course, I would love to spend more time on it, but I am a single parent, so I only get so many minutes in that department. Was I making excuses, of course, I was because I wanted it to be comfortable and not make my life harder. I am a baby steps kind of person. 

Upon further research into the positive thinking world, I found people using affirmations, vision boards, and gratitude lists. These were things I felt like I could make time for and experiment with. I needed to make this accessible anywhere because there were many times when I wasn’t home and need a way to pick myself up. I decided to go with the Trello app. I have used the free version of Trello to track my writing, so using it for something else essential to be well being seemed to fit.  Trello could be accessed from any device or through the website. 

The Experiment. 

1. Find some affirmations that would apply. 

It was easy to find some affirmations online; there are lists of them everywhere. I found a couple pictures that had lists of affirmations I knew applied to things I needed to change my mind about. I copied these pictures and added them to a happy board I created. Writing has been important to me for many years, so I also found just two of my favorite writing quotes and one inspirational quote to keep me motivated.

2. Gratitude list 

I created a board in Trello to list three things I was grateful for in the morning, which was a great way to keep myself off social media in the early morning hours. These could be simple things or complex ideas. Some days I was thankful for AC, and other days I was grateful for the galaxy.

3. Victories List

 I decided to create a list for victories of the day that I have seen used in particular planners. I had been struggling with feeling like I have been making progress in my goals, so at night, I would list three things as my victories. This was anything from I had a customer thank me for my dedication, I got to go to bed early, or I had a good talk with my kiddo about school. 

4. Vision Board

 My vision board was just a few pictures of how I would like to see my life in the next few years. Images were representing relationships, my living situation, joy, and a variety of other ideas. 

I did all of these things for a solid month, and my positivity was through the roof. I had the energy to lift others up who were having a bad day. I was not nearly upset with the circumstances of my life. It was unusual how much changed and how my point of view really shifted. 

I stopped to see if it would make a difference, and let me tell you it did. Within a couple weeks of stopping, I wasn’t right back where I started, but I could feel the pressure and anxiety begin to build again. So if you are having a hard time writing like I was or just dealing with the personal things going on in your life, give gratitude a chance and see what it can do for you. 

*This is not meant to take the place of medical advice. If you are having mental health problems, please seek help. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact the suicide hotline at call 1-800-273-8255.

Monday's Mug 010

Welcome back to the Monday Mug. I am enjoying this lovely weather we are having outside. I am having a little herbal tea tonight. I have no idea what kind because I didn’t look at it before I brewed it. The tea is excellent, though, with a little honey, it is better.

Would you like something as well? How about a brew you a cup?

This week has gone by in a blink, and it feels like I was just here talking to you. My process with submissions were I making a list of and looking for places to submit stories. I am focused on stories I want to submit. I have a few I need to edit and a couple of others I would like to complete. It seems like a slow process, and perhaps I am too hard on myself about the process. 

I read through a short story with a couple of writer friends, and it was fun to pull apart the story and see what was happening. When I was in school, it was part of our assignments, but I have to say it has been helpful to be able to pick some of the stories too. I need to start the Bradbury challenge to push myself further, but I am going to wait until December. It will be reading a short story, essay, and poem every day. 

Would you like some more tea night?

How is my marriage to writing going? It is a little bit of a bumpy start. There are times I question my choices, but I am a very analytical person, as well. I wonder about everything, but I am sticking to my decisions because, for me, right now, it is about love, and what at my core makes me happy. Writing does this for me still and always. Poetry has been sneaking back into my writing again slowly. I find when I am trying to make sense of the world, and poetry is how that happens often. I enjoy writing about hard problems in life and injustices. I could write volumes about romances that have gone wrong, but perhaps I will save that for later. 

So, this week, overall, has been pleasing. I am making slow and steady progress even though I am not as talkative in my writing community as I usually am. I am not sure why I am so quiet, but I think maybe it is just a time for me to observe and listen. 

I’m keeping it short this week, and off to get more writing done. Until next time… just write. 

Monday Mug 009 - Popping the Question

Hello Everyone, and welcome back to my Monday mug night. It has been a while since I have spoken to you. For me, the year starts new in October. I am not sure why, but it is what I keep experiencing each year. I feel the need to buy a new planner and start over with my goals for the year.  

I haven’t been very active in my usual communities this fall. I am participating in NaNoWriMo, which is National Novel Writing Month. If you are not familiar with this event, it is a time when writers all around the world come together on a website and write together. They all try to reach a goal of 50,000 words and write together in gatherings nearby or virtually. This year my project is partly a new book I am writing and a rewrite of the one from last year. It is strange because I am usually such a stickler for the rules, but I am allowing myself the grace to break them this year. 

Before November, these last few months have been full of hard reflection. I keep asking myself if I am going to continue writing the way I have been or really go 110% put everything out there. For me, everything means sending my stories out for publishing and really committing to my writing time even more than I have in the past. Most of all, this means being productive with my writing. I love to free write, and it does usual yield a story, but it doesn’t yield any editing. So, I have many stories I need to edit, and some I would like to workshop. 

Needless to say, I feel like I’m either going to marry my writing, or we are going to have to stop dating. You know when you significate other gives you that ultimatum. I have been dating writing off and on for about three years. It is either time to put a ring on it or let the muse move on. 

So what do when writing wants you to put a ring on it? 

1. Can I really live without writing? Is it really something I want to push out of my life instead? Can I live without creating another story, poem, or novel?

2. Give strong consideration to how much I love writing and if I will be willing to fight for writing even when it sucks, and it doesn’t feel like love that day, month, or year.

3. Am I really going to make time to spend with writing? Will I always work more instead or keep cleaning the house instead of spending real time writing? 

4. Do I have the finances to support writing, and will my writing be happy with the choices we make together? 

5. Can writing get along with my family and friends? Is there a balance between writing and others in my life?

6. Does writing bring out the best in me and make me want to be a better person? 

Now some of you scoff at this because why would ever need to look at writing that way. The truth is, for me, it is precisely how I need to look at it. Do I have time for the love of my life and to give it my all?

Writing, will you marry me?

 Yes!

So just write. 

Taking a Break and Coming Back to Writing

I think everyone I know in the writing world has taken some time off of writing. I know I did, although I wouldn’t recommend the amount of time I took off by any means. I have to say through those 10 years that I was living a different life and exploring things I would have never considered previously.  

We can all use a little time off if our deadlines allow us to feed different facets of our creativity. What do we have to write about if we are not experiencing things, or maybe it is the lack of being able to experience that you would want to write about? 

Today I see the story in almost everything now. There were times when I struggled to find anything to write about. However, a leaf running across the road or in the man who sits in the parking lot every day for lunch is my story starts. I wonder why this leave is moving in this very moment what would it mean to someone who feels along and what is this man going through every day he sits in his car.  

What I am saying it is okay to take some time off now and then from writing. I just recently had to for my own peace of mind.

I know I said it.

 Take a break.

Not because I said you should, or it is what I do but because you might find ourselves burnt out. It doesn’t mean you have to take a break for years or even months. For that matter, just take a day off. 

For some of you, this might be scary because you don’t know what it would be like to not write for a day, but you can try it. Take the day off from writing and write about what it was like to take the day off. 

Did you like it? 

Was it like nails on a chalkboard? 

Then do it again, or don’t do it again, but don’t feel like crap because you give yourself a break.

I’m constantly bombarded with posts and emails about being productive, going at it like a boss, and this is the only way to get anywhere in life. Sometimes the pressure seems like so much I don’t feel like I can breathe. That is when I stop.

I stop looking that posts, stop racking my brain for more writing time, and stop reading the great articles.

Writing doesn’t disappear, and you don’t forget everything you learned. Now you might be a bit rusty when you come back to writing, and you might want to read up a little on what is going on in the world of writing if it has been years. 

You can always come back to writing. 

It is never too late to write the book. 

You can allow yourself to rest. 

It is never too late to write again.

If this was you, stop here if you need a kick in the rear keep reading.

So maybe you are not the person that needs to take a break but need a kick in the rear?

You are screaming 

Where did October go?

 November is ticking away! 

I have sat here for the first few days of November and realized October came and went in the blink of an eye.

What do you do now that month is over, and you have nothing written you wanted to? 

1. You start over. Not from scratch mind you, but you do have to forgive yourself and realize every day is a new day to write. 

2. You guard your writing time with your life. Whatever time of day that is for you.

3. Start with smaller projects or goals. Write a flash fiction story in a week or a poem if you are living a crazy busy life. At the end of the month, four is better than none. 

4. If you have not other time at least, give yourself 10 minutes. Come back 10 minutes early from lunch or give yourself 10 minutes before you go to bed. Even 5 minutes is better than nothing.

I have read a lot of articles that say write every day even when you don’t feel like it. I see the benefits in this because the more you create on behalf of your passion, the better you will be, but much like life has seasons I think writing does too. It is still okay to have a break and give yourself the grace to get back to work. So if you are in that resting period, set yourself a timer and stick to when you will write again.

Minutes toward your dream are better than nothing, so just write.